Chuck Jones’ letters to his daughter, Linda

 

Post # 39

 

Monday, March 2nd,
1953

 

Hello, you ghastly
little slob;

 

I am told you have
passed from one semester into another. 
I have no way of knowing that this is true as we have received no notice
from the school, from [the Headmaster], from the Board of Education, from the
Parole Board, from the Hog Caller’s Protective Association or any other
accredited group.  I presume you
are not hanging in mid-air in a sort of suspended education.  I suppose that you are continuing with
what we laughingly call your studies so as old J. Caesar used to say, “Cadit
quaestic.”  Let us know when you
know anything, hm?  Not that I care
of course, yet…

 

In the foregoing
sentence I was interrupted by the telephone and when I turned to resume I found
that my last phrase was “Hog Caller’s Protective Ass-” An interesting idea,
isn’t it?  DON’T BE HALF
SAFE—INVEST IN THE LITTLE GIANT HOG CALLER’S PROTECTIVE ASS.  GUARANTEED TO PROTECT YOU FROM ANY
ATTACKS FROM THE REAR!  Be popular!  AMUSE YOUR FRIENDS and FRUSTRATE YOUR
ENEMIES! WEAR A HOG CALLER’S PROTECTIVE ASS!!

 

Dottie has returned
from the wild abysmal banalities of Oregon* in remarkably good spirits.  In fact her conduct during this whole
episode was such as to warm your old heart.  She did all the tings necessary up there, every t’ing that
is, swept up all the old cobwebby odds and ends, disposed of reams of ancient
paper work, did everything necessary with a minimum of pother and returned home
glowing like a dollar watch.  A
remarkable exhibition.

 

Yes, dammit I mean
“pother”.

 

“I” before E except
after C, hey?  What about
“ancient”?

 

Mr. Jones, the
carpenter has been busy on the [
Manhattan
Beach
] beach house this last
week, replacing windows, putting in new stairs, replacing boards, and fixing
the garage doors.  After he
finishes we shall have the olde girl painted (the house, not Nana [
his mother]) and no one will recognize it, but will
gasp, “What, oh what is this magnificent new edifice rising from the ashes of
the old…Lo, a veritable Phoenix!!”

 

Our social life
continues apace:  Last week mainly
movies at the Academy: “Moulin Rouge”, “The Bad and the Beautiful”, “High Noon”
again, “Member of the Wedding”, “Greatest Show on Earth” and last night a whole
mess of so called documentaries and I use the term “mess” advisedly.  What a slobby bunch of cruddy
pictures.  I rise to a point of
odor.  Pew!

 

“Moulin Rouge” and
oh, yes, “Come Back, Little Sheba” are superior pictures.  Shirley Booth’s performance is truly a
masterpiece.  If she doesn’t win
‘twill be the injustice of the century.

 

By some wierd
non-parental alchemy, I love you very much.

 

I before E except
after C, eh?  What about weird?

 

 

 

s/thine Sire

 

*[She was in Oregon taking care of the final
arrangements after the death of her father.]

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